FR
To avoid any misunderstanding, let me say that the following article is a spoof from satirical online newspaper Le Gorafi (Le Figaro spelled backwards) and therefore is purely dark humour of course — a complete hoax (theorically that is).
Ey@elIn the teeming jumble of the actual state of emergency and dumper-load of circulars, decrees and other administrative searches, one measure has almost gone unnoticed.
Yet, it concerns all Facebook users in France who didn't apply the tricolour filter to their profile picture after the Paris attacks as intelligence services shall have their records kept under S.7 for “antisocial behaviour” and “conspiracy tendencies”.
This means that an impressive total of 22 million users (of the 30 million in France) should thus get “flagged” by the DGSI and monitored to check on their integrity and patriotism.
A dereliction of civic duty casting doubt on their love for the nation
General Director of the French National Police Jean-Marc Falcone (DGPN) believes in the merits of this decision: “We do know that the terrorists were mostly young French individuals and also that they were Facebook users” he said. “Therefore, it makes sense for us to start monitoring all young French Facebook users to ensure such tragedy never happens again.”
Same story Place Beauvau (location of the French Ministry of Interior in Paris) where we are told this measure also addresses the insecurity felt by those who did choose to apply the said filter: “Most are upset that their 'friends' refused to display this true sign of solidarity,” explained a principal private secretary with a hand on his heart. “Many of them now feel threatened by these individuals who failed in their fundamental civic duty, thus casting doubt on their attachment to our country and its values.”
As further testimony of the recent global solidarity towards France, the EU also proposed the creation of a centralised database of all European citizens who didn't post any status or picture of Paris in the days following the terrorist attacks.
Original text by LE GORAFI
translated from French by EY@EL
© La Pensine Mutine. All rights reserved. Reproduction prohibited.
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