Your Chinese Horoscope for the Year of the Snake (1)

Horse: Watch out for unknightly attitudes. 
Rough riders will hear it straight from the horse's mouth.

Monkey: Stop aping around. 
Your monkey business is driving us bananas.

Rooster: Don't chicken out.

You've been henpecked and now you're walking on eggs.

Rat: Since the cat's been ratted on, you can safely get your greens 

and enjoy your mousehole.

Ox: Grab the bull by the horns.
Stop letting yourself cowed into all those things.

Dragon: You look out of steam and out of breath.
The good news is you won't be banned from LEZ's.

To be continued: more signs soon...

NOTE: In theory, these horoscopes are pure fantasy. In effect, any self-fulfilling prediction would be totally coincidental.

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