You're the One That We PISS OFF With Love! ~ LA PENSINE MUTINE (EN)

C'est toi qu'on EMMERDE, affectueusement !

You screwed up so much
We just can't vote for you anymore
Being in a funk is legitimate
It's all going to the dogs, Macron's doing¹

You won't get Germain's vote
As he lost a hand
Nor Jean Mathieu's
As he lost an eye²

You won't get Monique's either
As she turned full sovietic
And certainly not Maïté's
As she nearly had to retire³

Let's be honest
One more year would be worse than worse⁴
Greatly upset but not fascist⁵
I'll use your own words:⁶

You're the one that we piss off
With love
You're the one that we piss off
With love

You got McKinsey casting doubt⁷
Might be the hitch costing you dear
Reaping thrombosis
For acting like the Magician of Oz⁸

I can already hear the trolls a'comin'
As they all remained in Stockholm
In love with their torturers
You did stock up on Covidiots

I only have the remaining fuel of my hybrid
To start my Peugeot 106
My car is hungry
Unleaded petrol, it's up for suicide

Let's be honest
One more year would be worse than worse
Greatly upset but not fascist
I'll use your own words:

You're the one that we piss off
With love
You're the one that we piss off
With love

And if you're re-elected
You'll just have to cross the street⁹
Ignore the Pécresse¹⁰
Begging there for money

Even though all the media
Are urging to vote for you
France has already lost
Marianne is a battered woman¹¹

Can you see the shade of ruin
Royal Blue vs Navy Blue¹²
Plague vs Corona
For both you need to reach out

Let's be honest
One more year would be worse than worse
Greatly upset but not fascist
I'll use your own words:

You're the one that we piss off
With love
You're the one that we piss off
With love

Endnotes

^ Here is one of the many unstranslatable puns in this pastiche. All three words turned into phrases here are references to the names of the members of famous 90's French comedian trio les Inconnus, which are Pascal Legitimus ("legitimate"), Didier Bourdon ("being in a funk") and Bernard Campan ("going to the dogs").
^ In reference to the Yellow Vests movement where many protesters lost an eye or a hand after being shot purposedly by the riot squads.
^ In reference to the many people who lost their jobs due to vaccine passport policy.
^ Another untranslatable pun here between "worse year" (an pire) and empire.
^ Another one as "upset" (fâché) sounds almost like "fascist" (facho).
^ It's common knowledge that Macron claimed officially that he wanted to "piss off the unvaccinated". When reminded of his words during his campaign, he argued that he said that "with love".
^ In reference to the French McKinsey Gate.
^ Another untranslatable pun related to the experimental genic treatment rebranded vaccine where Wizard of Oz is spelled "Magicien-doses" (literally dose-wizard).
^ In reference to Macron's own words denying the unemployment crisis and suggesting that unemployed people just have to "cross the street to find a job".
^ In reference to corrupt minister Valérie Pécresse (Deep State candidate) who ran for presidential elections but got eliminated on the first round. Since she did not reach the required percentage of votes to get her campaign refunded, she is calling for donations (while she made millions in the Alstrom Gate).
^ Marianne is the symbol/personification of France.
^ Another pun with Royal Blue referring to Macron who behaves like a king and Navy Blue referring to Marine LePen his opponent in the second round of elections.