FR
Elle est Pfizer
She's got that glimmer in her eyes
Which gives her an air of superiority
That redness on top of her arm
Where a plaster used to be
There's clearly something special about her...
For me, she sure is Pfizer!
Every day I see her walk by
In the neighbourhood, unmasked
She kisses her neighbours
And doesn't wash her hands anymore
She's not afraid of the virus...
For me, she sure is Pfizer!
And I'm still living in the Middle Ages
With a mask over my face
So I cry out: “Jab me!”
But labs are all overwhelmed
And there are delivery issues
So we make the best of what we've got...
With that yesterday I got my first dose
Of AstraZeneca at the vet's...1
And when she tilts a head to the side,
She picks up 5G frequencies
While all I get is a stiff neck
And can hardly tune in to Nostalgia FM
In a blink of an eye, she can call a cab...
For me, she sure is Pfizer!
She's able to follow Jean Castex's2
Most complex conferences
She can understand first hand
New certifications
Curfews, timeshifts...
For me, she sure is Pfizer!
And I won't get my second dose,
There's been a bit of a hiccup
From AstraZeneca.3
It is said that for people my age,
It can cause carnage.
So I'm unsure, don't know why...
I was already picturing myself in the world after
Whereas in reality it's thrombosis.
She's a master in teleportation,
She pays for her groceries with her forehead.
The only inconvenience
Is that she gets all the security alarms ringing.
She can understand the whole of Schopenhauer
For me, she sure is Pfizer!
And I feel restless like a lion in cage
At the end of its rope.
Inject me anything!!
Since I couldn't wait any longer,
I made an appointment with my garage
And was treated like a king!
From now on, I walk with an air of superiority
After my motor oil jab...
Endnotes
- ^ In France, vets have been requisitioned to vaccinate people.
- ^ Jean Castex is the actual French Prime Minister, infamous for his contradictory, kafkaesque sanitary measures which keep changing all the time, getting people utterly confused.
- ^ In France, like in many countries in Europe and worldwide, the AstraZeneca vaccine has been suspended due to severe side effects.
Original text by LES GOGUETTES translated from French by EY@EL
© La Pensine Mutine. All rights reserved. Reproduction prohibited.
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