Visits From the Other Side: When Our Beloveds Visit Us in Dreams

Last summer, I had a succession of the weirdest of dreams involving someone I've dated thirty years ago. On the first night, we were strolling around some lonely urban boulevard with huge glass and steel structures. All of a sudden, an explosion blew off all the windows of a near-by building. Some life-saving instinct prompted me to throw myself down with my face to the ground, which is how I was left unscathed. But my friend took the full blast. His face was covered in glass shards and blood. He could not see anything and was in a downright panic. I wanted to take him to the nearest pharmacy, but he said it was too late. I woke up in confusion with some sense of helplessness. The second night, we were standing in a rail yard. He looked very upset and silently kissed me goodbye before disappearing on board of some freight train. Again, I woke up with a weird sensation and profound sadness. Since I'd had that kind of dream contacts before with people of importance in my life, always for a specific purpose, whether to forgive and heal or to renew precious friendships, I spared no effort in attempt to find him, even though I expected to find hundreds with the same name in the United States alone (his home country). But as always when I'm in the flow, my research was fruitful. It was a great shock (though no big surprise) to find he had died on the previous summer, not as a result of the long illness he had been suffering from (“It's too late”), but in a car crash (the glass shards on his face). The meaning of this dream to me is all very clear and personal.

Ey@el

Life is a dream walking, death is a going home.

Chinese proverb

I just realized that my first dream visitation came from my cat. I wonder if it is easier for animals to cross over these thresholds, since they do not seem limited by our view of what is “real” or not.  My cat Aeshie (whose name came to me in a dream) often acted as my co-therapist, a grey Buddha in a fur suit.  She would come down to my office and do therapy with me (when she felt like it- she was still a cat, after all). She seemed to have an innate knowing of just who needed their leg rubbed, or to have a cat in their lap, at just the right moment.

If we allow ourselves to suspend our own disbelief in the possibility of multiple realities, we can experience great comfort and connection when our departed human beloveds visit us in our dreamworlds.  Many people I know who have lost a loved one say that they have had a sense that their dad or grandma visited them in a dream, but they weren’t sure if they could believe it.  Or else they say that they wish they could have a visit, and wonder why mom hasn’t shown up yet.

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