COP22 Will Focus on the Pollution Induced by COP21

COP22, to be held in Morocco in November 2016, will aim at repairing the environmental damage caused by COP21.

“COP21's carbon footprint is simply disastrous. Imagine the damage resulting from the private jet trips from all these delegations from around the world, it's just colossal” says French Minister of Ecology Segolène Royal. “We must absolutely make up for it with COP22.” Indeed, several sources who wished to remain anonymous revealed that the increase in flights at le Bourget has caused cancer in three members of the airport staff.

In Paris, Mayor Anne Hidalgo acknowledges COP21's environmental damage: “One out of every four Parisians started spitting tar and urinating plutonium right after the end of COP21. Some participants themselves have been affected. I heard that François Hollande has grown a sixth toe on his left foot.” In addition, had COP21 lasted four more days, the Eiffel Tower would have begun to liquefy, a researcher from the French National Centre for Scientific Research (CNRS) told us.

While looking forward to the Morocco gathering, COP23, to be held in Asia, is already being prepared as conference chairman confirms: “We already know that it will be hard for Morocco to recover from COP22: its attractive climate has already triggered a wave of early bookings on behalf of about 30 countries, all to be flying on 3 or 4 private jets each. It is therefore our duty to protect the planet from the nonsense of humans trying to save it.”

Original text by LE GORAFI translated from French by EY@EL
© La Pensine Mutine. All rights reserved. Reproduction prohibited.

Cover picture: Brandan Reynolds

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