The Year of the Sheep

The Chinese Year of The Sheep is now official. For us, it started right after the Feast of Epiphany with a visit of the Karmage Kings bringing false flags and genuine miracles, shortly followed by the Carnival of Venice way ahead of schedule and overseen by the all-seeing eye of the beasts of hatred. In these days of doom come¹, the only thing missing would be the hippos shouting²: “Why isn't there any Year of The Hippopotamus in the Chinese Calendar?” And thence appealing the international community to take action because “China is discriminating against us.” Anyway, this is the Year of The Sheep, fullstop!³ Some pain in the ass might still argue that it isn't — that it's actually the Year of The Goat. To which I would reply that for the Chinese, goats and sheep are all the same, that it's still cattle, and that you can translate as you like! Some people even say that it's the Year of The Ram, hence my featuring the god Pan — who shouldn't be mixed up with Rabelais's Panurge — who's tired of being used as a scapegoat. So will 2015 be the Year of the Panicked or the Unscrewed?4

Endnotes

1. Untranslatable pun involving “gloom” and “MOSSAD” which both sound the same in French.
2. The translation here is literal but the pun doesn't work — in French it almost sounds like “hypocrites”.
3. The pun here was on “spicing”.
4. Another untranslatable pun: in French both name sound the same.

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